July 11, 2006

i remember halloween

when my aunt left today she cried and i felt nothing. later i told my mom that and cried, i'm thinking more upset about the idea of being numb. whatever- it was pretty. sasha was so excited to see me thismorning i sat in my bed to read and she paced back and forth in front of it, i helped her up and she snuggled with me. i startled and pushed her away remembering that i had seen her running in the tick infested median, but squeezed her again when i realized that was a dream and that she can't run up there anymore. theres glitter imbedded in my carpet from my dads second cousins grandaughter maxine whom i met yesterday. we made pictures in my room durring my dads birthday party; at one point she told me to "put down your coffee and come dance with me," she was two. family is funny, i feel no obligation to like them due to blood or anything but most of them i really do just like. like most people i guess. i'm going to go up to j street and like nichole. like like like, i like that word. maybe thats why i say it so much, or maybe its because i used to studder. no i think its because i like it. "I don't call myself a poet because i don't like the word. I am a trapeeze artist." -Bob Dylan