April 01, 2007

shimmy yam shimmy yay now

books don't make you skinny. and reading about diets isn't the same thing and i am going to smoke enough cigarettes to make a car out of ash and drive you far far away from me. as far away from me as you've made me feel from myself, or everything i relate myself to. like my house. but people (a person) can't "make" people (a person) do anything i suppose. nothing can be made, nor destroyed as we all know. but until recently i had taken that for granted. kind of, or exactally, like in brave new world when they try teaching the kids things in their sleep- to where they can recite the information but not be questioned about it. the other day it really racked my brain and left a hole in the wall and a table overturned. i'm trying to clean things up. if matter cannot be created or destroyed neither can anything that matters. relationships certainly cannot be destroyed and if we believe that we are all from the same batter, as i do, they cannot be created either... we are born related to eachother. it just depends on when we decide to pick back up. i am going to start now, i entered an apartment last night where i felt i had been before. not because i had taken the virtual tour on hotels.com but almost. a girl beaded jewlery and kids experimented on a keyboard, some painted and pasteled and i smoked a bowl. i am going to finish up what needs to be finished and leave the rest for my ghost. she can clean my room and make apologies, i'll take care of the now. i hope beezwax washes out easily.